When Bullying Becomes Part of Resident Care 

One of the articles I originally set out to write was about workplace bullying in long-term care. After finishing my first draft, something did not sit right. The facts were there, the examples were valid, but it still wasn’t the story I wanted to tell.

The missing piece was my perspective. I realized I was writing it as if I were an employee, and I am not, I am writing this as a resident. That distinction matters because I do not simply hear about workplace bullying, I live inside the environment it creates every single day.

When most people think about bullying in long-term care, they imagine difficult residents or perhaps conflicts between staff. What they often fail to realize is that workplace culture does not stay behind the nursing station. It spills into the hallways, the dining rooms, resident rooms, and every shared space in the home.

Residents see it, hear it and feel it.

One incident in particular is permanently etched into my memory. I watched a member of senior management publicly berate staff right on the unit floor, in full view of residents and other employees. It was not constructive coaching. It was not a private conversation. It was humiliation.

I sat there absolutely shocked and disgusted. The staff member couldn’t simply walk away. Other employees were forced to watch. Residents like myself became unwilling witnesses to something that should never have happened. Sadly, this wasn’t an isolated incident as it has become part of the culture.

Watching staff bully one another is equally heartbreaking. Sometimes it’s subtle, the eye rolls, exclusion, whispered conversations, sarcasm. Other times it’s much more obvious. Whatever form it takes, the message is always the same: someone is being made to feel smaller.

People often underestimate how perceptive residents are.

• • We notice who dreads coming to work.
  • We notice who suddenly becomes quiet.
  • We notice who avoids certain coworkers.
  • We notice the tears after someone disappears into another room.

Most importantly, we notice how the entire atmosphere changes. You can almost feel the tension hanging in the air. That tension doesn’t stay between employees. It spreads throughout the home.

Many residents already live with dementia, anxiety, depression, or other cognitive and behavioural challenges. They may not understand exactly why the environment feels different, but they absolutely sense it. The hostility, frustration, and negativity become part of their world.

For some residents, that emotional climate becomes a trigger. Behaviours escalate. Anxiety increases. Agitation becomes more common. Staff are left wondering why residents seem more unsettled, when sometimes the answer has been surrounding them all along.

Negative energy is contagious, then another layer develops and then residents begin bullying other residents.

Sometimes these behaviours stem from illness or dementia. Sometimes they are reactions to stress. Sometimes they are simply learned behaviours from living in an environment where disrespect has become normalized.

Negative energy is contagious. Over time, another layer can develop: residents may begin bullying other residents. 

Sometimes these behaviours stem from illness or dementia. Sometimes they are reactions to stress. And sometimes they are learned behaviours from living in an environment where disrespect has become normalized. 

The result is a vicious cycle. Workplace bullying creates tension. That tension affects residents. Resident anxiety and behaviours increase. Staff become more stressed. Then the pressure builds again, and the cycle continues unless leadership steps in, addresses the bullying, and changes the culture. 

The image below shows how quickly one problem can feed into the next when bullying is allowed to shape the atmosphere of a long-term care home.

When that cycle is left unchallenged, everyone loses. 

I have intervened when I believed someone needed help. I cannot always sit quietly while another resident is being treated cruelly. But I also have to remind myself of something, I am not an employee. I am a resident.

Staff and even I cannot be everywhere or solve every conflict. I cannot carry the responsibility for fixing a culture that leadership has allowed to develop. Yet I will never turn my back on someone being mistreated simply because “it’s not my job.” That’s not who I am.

Having spent years helping build successful businesses before coming in on a medical to long-term care, I know healthy workplace cultures do not happen by accident. They are created intentionally through thoughtful hiring, strong leadership, accountability, and leaders who address toxic behaviour immediately instead of ignoring it because someone is a favourite or a friend.

Too often I have watched here the opposite happen. Employees who repeatedly create conflict are protected. Others become discouraged and simply endure it. Some stop speaking up altogether because they no longer believe anyone is listening. When leaders tolerate bullying…or worse, participate in it—they send a clear message to everyone watching.

This is acceptable. It isn’t, not for staff, not for residents. not for families.

Long-term care homes should be places of compassion, dignity, and respect. Those values cannot exist only in mission statements posted on the wall. They have to be visible in the way every person treats every other person, regardless of their position.

There is another group that has an important role to play. Behavioural Support Ontario (BSO) teams and Behavioural Support Units (BSUs) often become involved when resident behaviours escalate. While many behavioural issues are rooted in medical conditions, the surrounding environment should never be ignored. A chronically tense, hostile workplace can amplify behaviours that might otherwise remain manageable.

The environment matters, culture matters, leadership matters and every interaction echoes through the home. At the end of the day, this isn’t simply an article about workplace bullying. It’s about resident care. Because every resident deserves to live in a home where kindness outweighs fear, respect outweighs intimidation, and professionalism is not optional.

The quality-of-care residents receive is inseparable from the culture in which that care is delivered. If we truly want to improve long-term care, we have to stop pretending bullying is merely a staff issue. It is everyone’s issue.

And those of us who live here experience the consequences every single day.

No Filters, No Excuses. Just Reality.